(Pittsburgh, Pinsylvania) February 20, 2012. A 47 year-old Pinsylvania man has been arrested for aggravated assault after pinning 134 photographs to the body of an unsuspecting, but very patient, patient of the Always Accurate Acupuncture Center. The suspect, Ivan Toopoke, is a licensed acupuncturist known for pointedly practicing his profession with piercing perfection prior to this point. This is the first time he has been stuck with charges of needling a customer the wrong way.
The patient, who's name has been withheld thanks to the privacy settings on her Facebook account, is a regular customer of the AAAC. She dozed off during what was to be a routine session of stress relief sticking, only to awaken on pins and needles. According to one witness, an apprentice acupuncturist, "I walked into the exam room with a cushion full of freshly sterililized needles, and there she was, covered head to toe with pictures of kitchen appliances, shoes, pasta dishes and Ikea Furniture, pinned to her as if she was a human pin-board. It was shocking."
The witness's reference to human pin-board was on point, as it turns out. Investigators who confiscated Mr. Toopoke's office computer found evidence of an obsession with the popular on-line pin-board, Pinterest. Toopoke had set up more than 750 "boards" and had personally pinned or repinned more than 150,000 images since signing up for the sticky social network six days ago. According to Detective Dick Richardson, "it appears that Mr. Toopoke was addicted to this Pinterest thing to the point where he could no longer distinguish between digital pins and real pins. In his mind, his brutally abusive acupuncturing of this patient was merely a means of sharing the things he loves."
When asked about the source of the 134 images pinned to the victim, Detective Richardson noted that CSI's involved in the case had photographed for evidence a large refrigerator in the Acupuncture Office that was suspiciously devoid of any cut out pictures on it, despite the presence of a large number of small magnets. The acupuncturist Toopoke may face jail time as well as revocation of both his acupuncturist license and his Pinterest account. He has been sent to the prominent Social Networking Rehab facility, INVITATIONS, for observation. The victim is expected to fully recover, and has asked if she could keep several of the photos of shoes and furniture for future reference.
A spokesperson for Pinterest was not available for comment on the incident.
Photo Credit: © Eric Isselée - Fotolia.com